There's Never A Simple Answer
by Shipperwolf
Summary: Pre 2nd Season fic. Michael thinks about Sara as she's released from the hospital.


Slight AU here in that V is still alive. Wrote this before the premiere of Season 2. Hope ya enjoy, don't sue cuz I don't own these ppl!

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"What do you want from me Michael?"

Even now I'm not exactly sure what I would have said if I'd actually answered your question. In that room, in that moment, there were so many thing I wanted from you. Or, at least, I thought so at the time.

Now, standing in the shadows of a tree near the hospital parking lot, I know that all those things were things I needed, not wanted.

I wait for you to finally emerge from one of the side doors, where one of your father's associates is waiting with a car to take you home.

My cap is pulled so far down on my head it feels like it's crushing my brain, but I know that it's the never-ending thought of you that's really the cause.

Veronica is across the street from the hospital, watching and waiting. All I need is one look at you. One glance to see you walking, healthy, smiling. Something in my gut tells me you won't be smiling, however.

And I don't blame you for that.

Right now all I need is to see you. But a few weeks ago, behind the curtain of privacy in your office, there were far more things I needed.

Many of those things I know I still need, but can't have.

Your question haunts me at night, coupled with the intoxication of the kiss we had shared only minutes before it.

What did I want…need from you?

In the guilt-ridden darkness of my heart, the first thing that comes to mind is the key. It was the reason I kissed you, that much I know. But somewhere between meeting your lips and breaking away from them, the key became a lost priority in my mind.

In those few seconds of feeling like I was normal, feeling like I was outside the prison walls kissing you in a restaurant or apartment, or even a car, the one thing I knew I had to get from you disappeared.

And the things I truly wanted came to mind.

Another kiss, for starters. The only thing that kept me from crushing against your lips a second time was fear of being pushed away. Along with the realization that another kiss could provoke me into far more intimate activities.

Activities I couldn't dive into in the middle of a prison infirmary.

I wanted understanding. I wanted to tell you the truth, for you to know what I was really doing, to stop hurting you with my silence and fly into an hour-long explanation of myself.

Again, I had to restrain. I told myself that doing so could prove disastrous.

And when I finally did indulge that need, my fear of the result was realized. Staring at this hospital door is proof of that.

I wanted love. I needed to tell you that I hadn't just fallen for you, I had fallen in LOVE with you.

I can only imagine what you have said if I had blurted it out.

I wanted you to wait for me, Sara.

Compared to all the others it seemed the most reasonable thing to ask for. I should've expected the answer you gave me, but that doesn't make it any easier to push the pain of it away.

The doors open now, and you're being escorted towards the car. My head sinks a bit farther behind the tree when your eyes suddenly roam across the parking lot. I wonder if you're looking for me.

I wonder if you can feel me watching you.

You're paled face disappears as you're helped into the car, and it pulls off in the direction opposite of me. I got what I needed. I got my look at you.

Now, I find myself wanting and needing so much more.

I need to hold you and tell you a million times how sorry I am for driving you into such a state.

I want to chase after the car, catch up with it, and order the driver to stop so I can kiss you in a way that would explain everything I feel for you. That, however, is an impossible feat, even for someone who broke out of a prison.

Veronica looks my way as your car flies past her. It's time for me to go hide some more. Something I DON'T want to do.

I want to tell her to follow you to your apartment, drop me off, and come back in a week….or two….or ten.

So many things I want from you, Sara. So many things I need. So many things I probably won't have.

And yet, I cling to the hope of "what if", and wait for a day when I can tell you exactly what I want.

A day when you'll understand that when it comes to you, want and need are the exact same thing.


End file.
